First, you have an excellent grip on suspense. The last little bit there was very well paced, although it didn't seem in keeping with the theme of the prologue. I would suggest separating it and putting it at the beginning of chapter one, rather than with the narrative here. Still, that's merely a personal preference sort of thing.

The following is a list of grammatical errors & typos just so your story can flow more smoothly, as well as what caught my interest and what came across well:

1. There has been a long standing, bloody, war raging across the land...for about a thousnd years or so. - Between blood and war there needn't be a comma. And "thousand" is just missing an 'a' between the 's' and the 'n'.

2. But, if you want the technicalities, the Kenosti fought amungst themselves as well. - "Amongst", I believe.

3. The Idea for this treaty was formed at the beginning of the war, by a prince of Them. - "idea" doesn't need a capitalization, unless this "Idea" is a title--like an official declaration or reference known as The Idea. In the second case, this would be just fine.

4. And, it is a testament to the nature of the Kenosti that the treaty took a thousand to be signed! - I forgot to mention earlier that I love the word "Kenosti"; very creative!

5. However, to help uphold this treaty an additional pact was made. - Provisions like this are always excellent to use in stories. Excellent call.

6. At the age of foreteen or so, the first born children of the royal family would be exchanged. It would be for a minimum of twelve years. They would live as an an heir to the enemy's throne, until it was time to return home. This would help to ensure that the treaty was kept. - "Fourteen". Elsewise, this idea is definitely intriguing! What a great idea to keep checks and balances all in order, right? Sounds great.

7. Neadless to say, trouble started fairly quick. Once peace broke out, the marriages started. - "Needless". Also "broke out" seems an odd choice when coupled with peace. Usually war 'breaks out' and peace 'is attained' or 'begins'.

8. It was said that these children were...odd...or not quite right. Fore they possessed a peculiar look, from the blending of features. - "For" not "fore". But the idea of the blending of these two people is terrific. Good choice, making the children look so unique.

9. The white blond hair or blue eyes from Them, mixed with the Kenostis' leen build. The look these mixed oned had was unsetteling. Marriages betwean the two peoples were soon made illegal. - "lean", "ones", "unsettling", "between". Again, I love how they look. It means there's no getting around how odd they are, and no hiding their unique parentage.

10. Like that would stop what was to come. . . - Isn't it interesting that when people fear something, they illegalize it; make it wrong, or bad.

11. Preface. Some time after the illegalities - As I said before, from this point the first chapter could start, as it deviates so much from the prologue's narrative, stepping into a character's point of view.

12. Sheira gasped in abject horror at the sight before her eyes. - An excellent line! And her name is terrific, too.

13. This grousome....thing. - "gruesome"

14. The poignant, sickly sweat, smell eminating from it made her light headed. It was making her gag! - A typo, you meant "sweet" instead of "sweat." Also, the second sentence seems a little...off. Perhaps combining them to look something like this," [...]made her lightheaded as she gagged on the stench." Something like that.

15. She slowly started to back up, trying to find a way out. Trying to get away before she was seen. She felt along the cold, slimy, wall. She couldn't see anything but the figure, slowly turning in her direction. She didn't want to die, and she didn't want to believe that it could happen. - As I said before, excellent suspense. Well done in this paragraph all around!

16. But her squeel had already given her away. . . . . - "Squeal".


Again, an excellent beginning. A lot of what I found can be easily taken care of by sending it through a word processor to catch the typos and misspellings. Other than that, I only have those few suggestions. I look forward to more. As I said before, you have a lot of potential, and a lot of imagination. Keep going; you'll do great!

Also, one last tip. I may have told you this before, but it's so important to pursue a story all the way through before doing any serious revamping. Fixing typos and such is fine, but the point is to finish. The second draft is all about refining it.